Tired! Slept most of the day despite getting up at a sensible time 9:30am. Had breakfast and was back in bed about 11:30 am woke several times but could not get up. Stayed there and forced myself back to sleep until after 7 pm.
Sad! Tears come as I sit here. I feel sad. I am lonely as well. Found a show I find funny and would enjoy a companion (daughter, friend) to smoke weed and watch tv with. Yet here I sit alone being sad. No weed no funny show.
I feel the loss of my cousin Reg tonight too. I find myself thinking of him and the pain of his loss often. I think of my dad too. 2 individuals who I can relate to. Both lived their lives very similar yet different. One lived until 40 and the other almost 80. Both very troubled tormented individuals.
Last time mom came in here for the night was for her birthday 3 years ago I believe, I was happy that she decided to come visit and spend some time with us. However, once she was here she let it be known the real reason she wanted to come here. It was because she was on the outs with her sister and did not want her showing up to visit her n her birthday.
Random Thoughts:
- Labeled as crooked
- Trouble maker
Cops at door middle of night about a suicide call
Cousin living with me for a year
When I told mom last year that I was on antidepressants she said you should have been on them years ago.
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