I Hate This

I hate this! All of it. I hate that I am struggling. I hate that my emotional and mental state are all over the place. I hate that I was even put in the position to be here. These past few weeks have seen me living nightmares over and over again. With the looming sentencing date the victim impact statement is due for review before the court date. The fact I have to go to court to read said statement. That I have NO ONE I can count on to go to court with me. NO ONE! I realize how cut off I am from everything and everyone. It is a lonely place but then again no one can hurt you, or take advantage of you if you have no one. I don't know what I want or what I need. I don't know where to go next. I don't know what the future holds. I am still fighting, every single day. I can not predict how this story ends but sweet Baby Jesus I deserve some peace. Just a little peace. Some comfort in life would be nice, less stress, less anxiety, less worry. Less struggle!