Went to bed at 1am up again at 2:30am back at 7:30am couldn’t sleep finally went to sleep around 9:30am up again at 10:30am
Bad bad bad day. The days seem to be getting worse, I guess the lack of meds might play a role in that.
I have a new fear in recent times, fear of committing suicide. I don’t want to die, I want to get better, but I fear I am going to get so low and not even know what I am doing and then I may end it all. I guess I am now afraid of myself.
I tried to clean again today, I managed to unload and load the dishwasher, wipe counters and table and put a load of clothes in the wash. Clothes that I washed last week but have sat around with dirty clothes piled on top of them and dogs butt on them. Just doing this caused a breakdown. Made things real tough for a while.
Daughter picked up my meds for me today however only the Sertraline 100mg were there. Better than nothing I guess but not real helpful for adjusting my meds.
Took 2 Trazadone and went to bed at 6pm and got up again at 10pm. My eyes are tired, can barely keep them open yet my brain is wide awake. The weirdest feeling!
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