We always want to help our kids out, make their lives easier and help make them happy but at what cost do we do this at? I feel always in conflict with my adult children mostly over shit they as adults should be dealing with. Appointments and transportation. School and work. None are my responsibility yet I am involved and it is harmful to my mental health. It appears to be always good when they get what makes them happy or convenience and they run the show but let me have a need and the shit hits the fan. I can't win no matter how I approach these things. Feeling defeated. Drained and tired
Smoked a daytime strain of weed, made a mistake and puffed more than planned thinking it was my normal vape. And the time that followed felt like intense therapy. I don’t believe it is a bad thing at all. It is helping me heal. I just wanted to document my thoughts on the weed thing. People say it is bad, it can make you worse. I see it as it can’t get worse. If I get a moment of joy, or comfort or feel love …for one minute it is worth it.
I have been working hard learning breathing techniques, sleep mediation, relaxation, inner child stuff….and after I smoked and went to bed for a nap I believe I made contact with my inner child. It was warming, and comforting, hard to explain and her full message isn’t clear as of yet but we are beginning to heal. I really believe that and I really feel it. I believe that the weed is allowing me to reach her, be open to her and not react to her. I look forward to seeing where we go from here.
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