I often sit and wish I was more than I am. There is so much I need to do and more stuff I would like to do but I just can't. When asked why I can't or what stops me I don't have the answer. I might answer that I have no motivation and that may be right, but I am unsure. I just can't! That is not an acceptable answer to me or anyone for that matter. I look at the mess that surrounds me and I hate it. I want it to magically disappear and then I'd be happy right? I'm doubtful. I honestly do not know what I want, what I need or what will make me happy. I assume this is the depression part of my mental illness. Did I mention I hate the words “mental illness”? I feel like that label makes it sound like I am a raging lunatic who can not be trusted around people nor animals. That I am unstable and untrustworthy. I can not see anything good associated with that label. I do have mental health issues, I am fully aware, I see them as “meek and mild” so to speak. Not to down play my anxiety, depression or PTSD. I just really and truly don't know. I am just so very lost!
Add comment
Comments