I am currently in a group therapy session where I am supposed to be working on a maintenance plan. This involves listing triggers, warning signs, self care and coping strategies. I began writing triggers (got 2) and had to stop. I do not want “to go there”. Meaning I do not want to be in a place where I feel deep pain, hurt and frustration. Self care – pfttt.. I can barely get myself into a shower once a week. I don't feel deserving. I don't know how to accept or deal with kindness. For today I will not deal with this list and it really is OK. Is this a sign of improvement? This may just be my “self care”. My brain loves to be in a freeze state and that is exactly where I want to be right now. There is a time and a place for this maintenance plan and it is not right now,
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