Today was therapy day and as was expected it was hard. We discussed boundaries and holidays. Every time we talk about my mother I get angry and upset. We also discussed maybe taking a break from therapy until I figure out what I want or need from it. We both agreed I am all over the place and that it is very likely that is it because my life is all over the place. We will meet again early January to make some decisions going forward.
While I was in my therapy session a knock came on the door. With my knees being so bad it takes me a while to get up. Before I made it to the door to answer, there was an even more stern knock. When I answered it was a bill collector. Are you fucking kidding me! I felt severely violated. My safe space no longer feels safe. Of course we discussed this in therapy as well and I am glad my therapist was with me at that time. I did email the company after and told them in no uncertain circumstances are they to EVER do that to me again. This is a major setback for someone who is dealing with what I am dealing with. I told them I have no money, I won't have any and to do what they had to do just DO NOT send strange men to bang on my door. They assured me it will not happen again. Time will tell.
Little bit has been such a HUGE help to me lately. She understands how bad my knees are, she sees it. We have our tree up, storage room cleaned and organized, living room cleaned and tidied and all laundry washed. Tomorrow I will fold it and hopefully we can get kitchen and bathroom clean. Then we will be ready for my 2nd youngest baby to be home. I would not have gotten any of this started let alone completed without my baby girl. I think despite my lack of mobility this project has been good for us both.
We meet with The Journey Project tomorrow. Sigh......
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