Some days I feel like I just want to cry. It fills my entire being and I struggle to hold it back. Today was one such day.
I got up this morning and was just not “feeling it” so I went back to bed. I did manage to get my second appointment for EMDR set up and called to check on my disability claim before I went back to bed. When I got back up I was no better. I had 4 chicken strips. Decided that I had to shower. I avoid that like the plague too. It makes no sense in my brain but I just can not shower. Today I did it. Then I had a little cry and am still holding back tears. I hate this so so much.
I have been doing good with my crochet. I realize I can not knit no matter how bad I want to because it hurts my hands so so bad.
It is time for me to buck up and start working on healing myself again. I gave up on it. I went from all the help, therapy etc to nothing. I do not know much but I know neither of those work for me. Just hoping that sticking to one thing at a time will be helpful for me.
I have so many plans/ideas in my head and none of it comes to fruition. Then I beat myself up because I can not get anything done. It is beyond frustrating and draining. I am tired of this “sucking the life outta me”.
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