This Is Our Canada

I am starting to believe that happiness is NOT my destiny. I have been fighting and fighting hard to get my mental state in a good place. I have been doing better despite a few bumps in the road and then today happened. I received a demand letter from the government of my province giving me 20 days to repay $13,654.61 in full. Let me tell you about this money I supposedly have to pay them. When life went to shit and caused my daughter an attempt on her life in November of 2021 I was taken off work for medical reasons. I had applied for sick benefits through employment insurance and received these about 8 weeks later. This also means I went 8 weeks without any income! They lasted for 15 weeks. It was 55% of my income so I got used to living on minimal. When these benefits ran out I had zero. I was then forced to go back to work but I could not with my mental condition return to the same job I had left. I searched long and hard and found a nice work from home job. I did that for about 7 months when my anxiety would not allow me to keep it going. Again I was taken off work and applied for and received medical employment insurance benefits. I got 15 weeks of benefits. I was just before the date where these benefits became a 26 week thing. That bought me some time but I did have to wait 4 or 5 weeks before starting to receive these benefits. I was advised by my medical team to apply for Canada Pension Disability. I did so knowing it would be a battle and a time consuming one at that. I refused to apply for “welfare” (income support) but was encouraged by my therapist to do so to ensure I had some income into the home while waiting the long wait for disability. So I did and was approved. I got approx 1000 per month plus they paid my power monthly. My rent alone is $800. I applied for Disability in March of 2022. Through all the jigs and reels and appeals process I was approved in July 2024 in the amount of $792 per month plus I have to pay taxes on that. I did get a back pay of $13,133.50. ( I currently we taxes on that money too) It was an exciting day and I could literally feel the weight lifting off my shoulders. Needless to say after all the years of struggles I had bills to pay. I owed $2400 for rent alone. As expected I was cut off my income support payments and told I could not apply again until July. While I do not understand that given the little amount of money I am receiving each month, I accepted that. Now I owe them more than I received in benefits and am not in receipt of income support. This makes zero sense to me. I thought the reason I was cut from these benefits was because I had that lump payment to live off of. Now it appears that I am expected to live on $792 a month, pay taxes on that and pay back a debt of more than I ever received. This is our Canada. They would rather see me dead than being able to survive. They would rather help my mental health decline than to assist in my healing by helping me to have a roof over my head or food in my belly. Tell me how the hell one is suppose to get over depression or anxiety living this way. This is why our suicide rates are so high. There is just no break. At all! One thing after another. I am battling and I am trying but for what? At what point does one say fuck it and give up? Oh Canada – Kindly Fuck off!