At what point does one say fuck it and give up? I do not for life of me understand why I haven't done that yet. Even after all this time and the hard work I have poured into myself I am about ready to give up. It is where my mind brings me today. Why am I still here trying, trying to heal pains that keep coming, new ones, old ones. New worries and old ones. Today's addition is the real possibility of homelessness. My landlord has reached out to say he has to increase the rent. I am not mad at him, nor do I blame him. I understand. I also understand I can not really afford what I am paying now so an increase will be near impossible, given the circumstances of my life currently. It sucks. Why am I trying? For what? I have nothing, no where I feel safe enough to go to and no mode of transportation. I do not go outside and can not “just get over it'. I found some “joy” in planning a change to my bedroom. I began gathering and gutting. Now the Universe is like no fuck you, instead you shall become homeless. Try that out for a while and see the improvement in your mental health; not happening. Someone please give me a reason to keep going because if we are being real here I have nothing to keep going for. I had the desire but I feel like that is fading fast as well.
Add comment
Comments