It has been a while, yet again. I have always thought the times I went a while between one journal writing to the next was because I was doing poorly, or had nothing to write about. I recently discovered it is actually because I am in an “avoidance” state. I tune myself out, I don't want to feel, I don't want to think, I just want to be. The past few weeks have been HARD! I wish I could “shake it off” and be perfect. That do not happen in real life no matter how many times someone may tell you to do so.
I do not feel like writing, even as I sit here writing this. I do not know what I need, nor does it matter much. I have been having food aversions and a feeling of nausea comes over me at the thought of eating. I get so hungry, my stomach talks to me and grumbles to the point it hurts. Yet when I put the food into my mouth I want to vomit so I spit it out. This is not ALL the time but I do notice it occurring quite frequently lately.
I had 2 therapy sessions today. I don't feel as angry right now so there is that.
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