October 28, 2024

Today I was reminded of another situation that was very traumatic for me. About 10 years ago or so at 2am in the morning I hear the dog barking and this heavy banging on my front door. Keep in mind, we never used the front door only the back. At the time of this incident I could not even actually open the front door. I looked out the living room window to see the RCMP (cops) I started shaking and panicking. Police banging on your door at 2am is NEVER a good thing. I opened the window to speak to them and explain why I could not open the door. They were asking for my eldest daughter. I don't remember every word that was exchanged but remember thinking in the moment what the hell has she done now. I also remember the female officer being very snippy and short with me. She proceeded to tell me that the suicide hotline had received a call from my oldest saying she was going to kill herself. Let me tell you the shaking I had prior to this moment was nothing compared to how my body was now reacting. I asked the officers to come around the back and come in. I had been talking to the eldest just a few hours before and she seemed fine but I called her right then, with the police present. She again was fine and was just as puzzled as I was. Then my mind shifted. My second oldest was in a horrible relationship at the time and often struggled with wanting to die. I mentioned to police if maybe it was her and maybe she was afraid to give her own name. It was the only thing that made sense at the time. I am freaking out! I tried to call her no answer. I am in a state let me tell you. The police got her address from me and sent officers out to visit her. They told me they would update me after that visit happened and went on their way. I am not sure if they ever followed up as promised but I did eventually hear from my daughter who was also fine. To this day I am not sure on what happened here. Was someone prank calling the suicide hotline? Was someone in serious trouble and fearful to give their info so they gave my daughters? Her name is very unique so it is VERY unlikely to have been someone with the same name. It had to have been someone who knew her or knew of her. Whatever happened early that morning we will never know but I do know what happened within me thinking my daughter was going to or had already offed herself will live on in me forever.